2011. A New Year.

So here we are, in 2011. Its crazy how fast 2010 flew by, and I can honestly say, with hand on my heart, that I loved every second. 2008 and 2009 were not good years for me. I remember seeing in 2009, and saying "2008 was a bad year. 2009 will be better". And it wasn't, not really. But how different it was, seeing in 2010. I knew the worst was behind us. I knew deep down, that 2010 was going to be our year. My year. I knew we had made the choices to make it so.

So much has changed, shifted, in 2010. Some things have stayed the same. My job. No real change there. Still a burden for me, something I worry too much about and don't gain anything from except a healthy wage.

But thats the only thing in my life I would honestly change without a moments hesitation. Everything else is so special to me, so precious, and so wanted.

My family and my friends and my boyfriend. My family - my mum and dad, my sisters, my five incredibly special nieces and my one darling nephew. Some of the relationships are easy, some are harder. Some of them I see more than others, but none of them I see enough. All of them so supportive, all of them with their own battles and struggles, and I hope to goodness they know how much I want for them to be happy, at peace, loved. How much I love them. What I would do just to be there for them. This year, 2010, I maybe wasn't there for them as much as I should have been. Wrapped up in how they see me, how they weren't always what I wanted them to be to me, and not realising enough that maybe I am not being to them what they need me to be. That it goes 2 ways. 2011 - this I will change.

Arron - my boyfriend of almost seven years - so supportive and loving and who just completely understands me, the things I love. When I imagine our future, as a family, I see laughter and love and home. He is my home. In 2011 I am going to value him more, build more on our future.

Arrons family - so amazing, his parents, his brother and his fiance, and his extended family. My family. In 2010, I continued to value them as much as I always have, and love them, and being part of them. In 2011, I am going to make them a bigger part of my life. I am going to make so much more effort to see them and build relationships with them. I want our children to grow up knowing each other. I want them to be friends. I want us to be friends. Not just family, but friends.

And my friends - god I love my friends. They've always been there, some have been in the background of my life for a long time, but in 2010 I really feel like I cemented those friendships, made them permanent, made them real. And old friends, who have been secure in my life for years, continue to be so. In 2011 I want to be the best friend that I can be, to put aside my own insecurities and selfish needs, to give them absolute friendship, absolute support, and above all - absolute understanding. To understand what it means to be a friend, and have a friend. I have a lot to work on there, sometimes I get really upset in my own head because I feel they don't consider me their "friend", I feel like I need them more that they need me, and I hate that. It's such a selfish way of thinking. I need to move past it, and realise how amazing it is, without analysing every little insignificant detail.

My photography. Perhaps the biggest change of all. In 2010, I've pushed myself - put myself out there - worked hard. And I've come a long way. I have a long way to go. Obstacles I've faced are disappearing. New ones will appear. In 2011 I need to keep pushing, keep learning, keep striving. And keep loving. Because there have been days, weeks, where I haven't wanted to pick up my camera at all. And I haven't picked it up. And thats ok - but not for too long.

So here's to twenty eleven. Twenty ten - I've loved you. I've embraced you. I won't forget you. But with my head full of plans, and my heart full of love, and hope, and possibility, I now move on to face twenty eleven, and all the wonder it can bring.

Wishing you all a wonderful 2011 too. Make it happen xxx